Retreat- strategic withdrawl

I erased all my asana sheets I had done for this weeks homework ( reference sheets that we do each week that break down poses) moments before I was rushing out the door to ‘retreat’ to the Sierras to attend a weekend long workshop.

These are the foolish motions I go through rushing to relax.

Maximizing my time spent in each moment. Time. Deadlines. Be there. Do this. Pressure. Ridiculous.

Yet it soured my morning. Then bickering with my friend who i was going with about ‘being ready on time’.  Being on time to retreat ??

Sisyphus and I are good friends.

The tension and trauma builds in my body. Instead of pushing a boulder I am carrying a bag of rocks in a purse over each shoulder.

I’m been waking up with nightmares everyday for weeks.

I struggle with slowing down to take care of me these days, its a flurry of rushing with one thing to the next taking care of no one in return.

Work. work. Work. Work.

This morning is no different, but I sat up and listened to the bird’s conversations outdoors.

My friend admonished me a little for being the person that after relaxing and getting a massage wants to process about everything that it has unearthed. That’s how I roll. I guess.

I dare you to do a heart or hip opening yoga class and tell me you feel nothing after.

waking up the beast  inside is never easy.

Resolution through rambling is.

 

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