What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger ?

When Tami, (It’s All Yoga teacher and former Teaching in Training or TT for you non-yoga folk) said “it wont kill you [TT] (whatever you get ) but it will challenge you in ways you never thought possible”.  I didn’t really know what to think. But I’m beginning to get it..

I just going to ramble for a bit, because I can’t sleep and I’m embracing this blog business. enter at your own risk.

Part 1


I went to say goodbye to my Great Aunt Katie, at the hospital tonight. She has suffered 2 major strokes and the doctors have said there is no hope.  She was laying there so peaceful  and sweet I am having a hard time wrapping me head around it.

Aunt Katie, was the person you looked forward to kissing you on the check and giving you a hug.  The sparkle in her eye and bubbling sweet laugh and voice, were so welcoming amidst my loud crazy italian family . I need those rocks sometimes in my family. A mix of slightly insane and wonderful group of characters (let me mention there are  70 + of them around town, and that number is just referring to the folks I see every year). And while I love them all, some of them can be a bit…conservative, loud mouthed, machismo, opinionated, drunk,

(enter uncle ross:  why the fuck do you have those tattoos ? I would shoot my kids if they had tattoos…what is that you do now ??? )- sidenote:  I have learned and loved telling him to fuck off. 

brash, judgmental-

(enter my aunt jill’s mother (whose name is escaping me), who over the loudspeaker announces to the family  “I was disappointed to hear you didn’t get married.”  after I broke off an engagement.. )

old school, bat shit crazy, bitter,

the boys can do no wrong-

(enter my nana, bless her, wasn’t especially fair sometimes when it came to her 4 grown ass sons and the rest of us. I had to wait for every boy in the family to get served at Sunday dinner before I could take any meatballs and she sort of looked at me sideways for some my life decisions. I love her to pieces, but she was set in her ways and her views sometimes and those weren’t necessarily girl power.)

challenging people.  And I wouldn’t trade them for anything.

But my Aunt Katie and Aunt Mary, they were the ones I genuinely looked forward to seeing. The ones you zoomed in to give hugs to at the holiday hoedown.

They made a very aloof chubby awkward girl feel pretty special growing up and never blinked at my story ( went to UCSC, then NYC to be an artist, hasn’t been married, hasn’t had kids, hasn’t settled down, has a questionable career -story). Their love and acceptance is precious to me.

I was talking to her daughter and my mom tonight and my mom said, ‘Katie didn’t have a enemy in the world’.She was kind and caring to everyone she met,especially her family. What an amazing way to walk in the world. I’m going to carry that close and work on that. I think she has done a lot of this yoga homework !!

She is humble, stylish ,oh so stylish (omg the photos of her outfits) and has a wicked sense of humor. She said to me this summer, when I was commenting on a photo of her & her sisters goofing off, “We were as poor as dirt, but oh did we know how to have fun”. You are fun, Aunt Katie, and I  love you for making it fun for me too.



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